I'm an incredibly indecisive person.
If you've known me for any length of time, you've come to realize that outside of work, I really can't make a decision. If I go to a restaurant I will stare at the menu of a LONG time. I decided recently this is mostly because I don't want to miss out on "the perfect meal". I must sit and ponder what my stomach is really craving... Steak or chicken? Mashed potatoes or salad? Coke or lemonade? The innumerable choices on any given menu leaves me utterly stumped.
If this is really going to be my last meal, I wonder, do I really want to eat a salad? Or will the mashed potatoes fill me up too quickly? If I want dessert, then I should order the salad. But I do love potatoes... Oh! Look at the picture of the chicken marsala! If I wasn't getting the steak, I'd probably order that but wait... Do I really want steak?
This is pretty much my thought process... for every decision in my life. There only a couple of decisions in my life that have been super easy:
1. Saying YES to my fiance!
2. Deciding to attend EIU.
3. Saying yes to any trip ever suggested to me
4. Deciding on the iPhone 5
I'm probably over-exaggerating but only slightly, I really suck at decision-making. This is where planning a wedding gets SERIOUSLY difficult. There are so many decisions that have to be made! SO MANY! It's enough to blow your mind... I don't think any girl truly understands how many choices there are until she's faced with her own wedding. Sure, I've seen two best friends and a sister go through this process but you never truly understand it until it's your turn.
I tell everyone that I'm not super picky about my wedding but truly, I think it's ruse because I can feel myself being SUPER picky. I don't want it at location A because it looks too much like the banquet hall from the black lagoon. However, I do like location B but the door knobs are just ugly AND I CAN'T HAVE UGLY DOOR KNOBS!!!!
I can feel it... I'm submitting to bridal mania... the very thing that I don't want to do.
I don't want to be a Bridezilla. I don't want my wedding party to hate me. I don't want my fiance to wonder why he even asked to marry me. And most importantly, I don't want to ruin my wedding day by worrying too much about the "I don't wants."
I've only been engaged (how come no one ever tells you how fun it is to be engaged?! THIS ROCKS!) for two months and I've decided to focus on what I do want.
1. I want to marry Zachary Tyler Doiron some time next year because he looks REALLY good in a tux.
2. I want to wear a pretty white dress because I can.
3. I want everyone to look as fabulous as me.
4. I want our community to come together and celebrate our commitment to each other and God.
5. Last but not least, I want to dance. A lot.
If I've met this list by the time our wedding ends, it will be a perfect. And I'm totally aware that EVERY OTHER WEDDING BLOG talks about this mumbo-jumbo. I've read enough wedding blogs to make your eyes swell shut. However, I'm SO focused on what I don't want, I'm forgetting what is truly important here. A marriage isn't just a big white wedding...
I'm sure I'll make some decisions that make people raise their eyebrows. I like traditions but they're meant to broken, right? I might put Team Zalison on the invites... gasp! I want to be married outside. Churches are great but I've always believed God isn't confined to a church... so why should my wedding be? And I have the BEST idea for a guestbook.
And I thought I'd include this for your reading pleasure:
Zack's list of wedding priorities:
1. He wants to wear a tux
2. He wants to eat food and drink beer
3. He wants to dance with me.
He's sure easy to please!
