I've got a big dilemma about my big leg Emma... oh yea...

In case you didn't know or can't see or just don't care, I am an amputee. Now please... don't feel bad or sad or hurt or whatever because I'm perfectly fine. I'm a perfectly healthy 22-year-old who has a slight mobility malfunction. Or I could give the medical version which is Proximal Femoral Focal Deficiency (or PFFD if you're lazy).

I want give you a short education on this malfunction of mine. PFFD is a rare (apparently I'm rare... OOOoooOOO) birth defect that affects the leg (hence... Femoral). If you need a short anatomy lesson... the average adult has 3 major leg bones, the femor, fibula and tibia. The femor is the long bone in your thigh and the other two are in your calf. PFFD always affects the femor... normally shortened femors or some people have no femor at all. It's also very common to have deformed hips with PFFD since the major leg bone connecting to the hip bone is messed up.

Now like every medical condition, PFFD affects each person differently. In my case, I have a shortened femor and by my estimates it's only about 4 inches from my hip to my knee on my right leg. Compare that to my left leg where my femor is like 18 inches. That's a huge difference! In fact, my ENTIRE right leg is shorter than my left femor bone. I also have no knee cap on my right leg, which I found out recently is fairly normal.

In terms of hip deformities, I probably do have one just because of my shortened leg but I'm not sure how noticeable it would be. I don't check out my butt very often so someone else will have to tell me. I do, however, have a dimple on my hip that I believe is a result of having a short femur bone.

Now this may surprise some of you... but I was actually born with a right foot! My right foot is the only thing I'm actually missing. If you look at really early baby photos of me, you see TWO feet. I usually think they're my sisters because I'm like "I don't have a right foot." See even I forget that I once had a right foot but in my defense, they removed it when I was 10 months. So I have no recollection of ever having a foot.

I also, another surprising fact, have no fibula. The two calf bones I mentioned earlier... I have one! And you all have two! I guess that just makes me so much cooler! I might apologize if that sounded racist but since race is about skin color but I guess I could say it's handicapist (according to Alison's dictionary handicapist means discrimination against those without handicaps!). So I apologize for being handicapist. Kind of.

I'm allowed to make jokes about my own malfunctions, it's part of the contract. Before I left heaven, God asked if I wouldn't mind being different and I said "Sure God, anything for you!" He handed me this contract to sign and all it said was simply, "By signing on the line, you are officially allowed to make fun of your difference." So I signed and I'm allowed to make fun. If you got a problem with it, then go talk to God.

Now as I continue to make fun of my technical difficulties, you should know I am extraordinarily lucky. A lot of people with PFFD (though our numbers be small) are born with other complications, primarily organs. Organs are deformed or, in extreme cases, missing. God luckily granted me all of my organs and all are in working order.

Now treatment is also different for each person. Some people go through this painful process of bone lengthening. They have surgery to have screws put in while their growing to lengthen the bone so it matches the other leg. OUCH! No thank you... just hand me a bone saw and I will do the amputation myself. Now in my case, bone lengthening wouldn't have worked. There was too much difference in the lengths of my femurs. And my right foot was extremely deformed and held no real use to me. So my parents made the painful decision to amputate.

Now I must pause and give a shout out to my parents. It cannot be easy for any parent to be stuck with the decision of allowing a doctor to remove a body part. All they could do was hope they made the right decision and I would understand when I grew up. Welp, mom and dad... I think you made the right choice. So from the bottom of my heart... thank you. Thank you for allowing me to lead a very normal life and I hope I didn't cause you too many problems.

You might wonder why I'm not a God-hater and I'm sure there are people in my position who are. I do occasionally wake up and wish I had two legs but the way I see it, God has to exist. I couldn't have made it this far in my life, with very little trouble, without there being a God. Look at what could have happened, I could be missing a kidney or need a liver transplant. God knew I needed to be born with PFFD and he knew that I would be able to handle it with finesse. I had to be an inspiration to someone. He created me so I could help someone else out there similar to me. To show people that adversity is truly what you make of it.

 By all means, I should hate God. I should loathe God. If there's anyone out of the people I know who wanted God to not exist, it would be me. I wouldn't wish being an amputee on anybody. There are days when it sucks and I would give anything to have two real usable human legs. I get tired faster than others and yea... it's annoying as heck to walk around with an extra 10 pounds attached to your body. But thinking about what could be and what is in my life... God exists. I had excellent doctors who watched my growth carefully and I had a prosthetist who cared more about how the leg fit me than the bottom line. I had two wonderful parents who didn't make me the family poster child or treat me differently because I was missing a foot. I had friends who didn't even question the fact I was different. I found a boyfriend (who apparently didn't even know about my leg until after we were dating) who could care less.

So don't give me some bull crap about how I'm God's punishment to an evil world. If you truly think that my leg is some sort of punishment.... then you really need to start seeing a therapist. And I'm starting a rant and I apologize. And whatever you do... whatever you think... don't you DARE feel sorry for me. If there's one thing I HATE... It's "Alison, I'm so sorry." Sorry about what? What in my life are you apologizing about? I mean, seriously people... I don't WANT your pity. There's nothing to pity. Heck... my life could be richer than yours. Maybe I need to feel sorry for you! I've built houses, I've gone hiking in the mountains... in the dark!, I go roller blading, ride roller coasters, go swimming, do cannonballs off a FREAKIN' diving board! I'VE EVEN GONE SKIING!!!!! So no feeling sorry for me. No sorrow. Whatsoever.

And another reason why you can never feel sorry for me. I can have kids. That's right. I can repopulate the world with little Alison's and they will not have PFFD because it's not hereditary. So I'm not worried about potential little Alison's. So here's my offer to you.... if you have a question about my mobility malfunction, ask me. Any question at all. Post it, text it, e-mail it... I will answer them all on my blog. Every single one of them. And if you have no questions, I won't be offended I promise. But everyone I know has that one single question about my leg they are afraid to ask. Don't be afraid to ask. Any question at all! Let your curiosity get the best of you!!!!!!!!!!!