Dedicated to Zack

Ok, I need to preface this blog with an apology to all men in the world. I spent a lot of my short life being a man-hater. There's no particular male in my past that is the cause of this hatred, it was my own naivety and preconceived notions.

Here's my biggest problem with the Christian sexual education I got. I kept hearing that all men are pigs and all they ever think about is sex. I had to avoid all guys because all they wanted was to have sex with me. But I was so conflicted because I found some boys my age to be attractive. What was I supposed to do? I liked them but I shouldn't because all they wanted was sex. And sex was bad.

So in a nutshell I learned, Sex=bad, Men=sex so Men=bad (how's that for a bit of geometric proofs for ya?)

Now granted, it may not be what my youth pastor intended me to get out of this but it's so hard when you're told every year around Valentine's Day that a man has a sexual thought every 4 seconds. But the topic of sex ed (Christian and Secular) just makes me so mad that I'm going to stop before I start ranting.

So I believed guys were shallow and I didn't think any of them could look past my leg. And I wanted nothing to do with that. The easiest thing for me to do what just refuse any guy who ever asked me out. That didn't work out so well with Zack.

I met Zack my sophomore year of college at a speed dating event in my hall and by this point, I saw no good use for men at all. I was a feminist to the extreme! Sometimes I fell asleep trying to think of ways to rid the world of the male species all together. I could do anything a guy could do better (still can... just saying) and I didn't even need to be paid as much because I was the better than them. If you're thinking that I discriminated based on gender, you are so correct.

I couldn't escape Zack because our friend groups clicked and I was hanging out with him every weekend. And I can tell you the exact night he won me over. We had decided to go bowling but I didn't have enough money to pay for it. Zack (who was trying to win me over at this point) offered to pay for my game. After some forceful peer pressure I caved. We went bowling, had a fantastic time and at the end of night we found out that Zack had paid for EVERYONE! He paid for all 8 or 9 of us for both games. God knew it was time for me to get off my man hater battleship and he sunk me hard and fast.

Zack asked me out for our first date two weeks later and I couldn't say no. I think it was one of those God moments when you feel so strongly about something you can't ignore it. And if I  had said no, I think my friends would have killed me and sunk my body to the bottom of Lake Charleston. Apparently everyone else could see Zack was crazy about me and we were perfect for each other, but I chose not to see it. Then I was forced to see it when my dear Beth called me out after spring break.

And it turns out (shock of my life)... guys don't think about sex all the time! Zack has proved that to me a thousand times over and after 3.5 years, still remains the perfect gentleman. I wake up every morning and thank God for bringing Zack into my life. I believe God has funny ways for showing us how wrong we are. And blowing up my man hatred battleship at the height of my war plans without any warning is the perfect example.

I known I've come really far with my man hatred but Zack has to remind me at times that men are not the root of all evil. I used to tell Zack that "I hate all men but you." Then he'd tell me, "Ok, so according to you I'm not a man anymore. What am I then?" Honestly, I think it's funny that when I'm really in a man hater mood, he's the first person I call/text.

Needless to say, I love Zack very much. He's the kindest, sweetest man I know and so charming that it's impossible not to like him. And he can read me like a friggin' book. He can tell from the way I say hello when he calls if something is bothering me. There's no hiding emotions from Zack because he's not afraid to call me out and will pester me until I talk to him. It's annoying but I usually feel 20 times better afterwards. Our relationship if far from perfect

God blessed with me the greatest family and the greatest friends. And for some unknown reason, God blessed me with Zack. I once told Zack that I didn't deserve him and he told me simply, "Yes, you do." Funny thing is... he's never told me that he didn't deserve me, he just tells me everyday he's the luckiest man alive. He probably is but I bet you he's going to try and spend the rest of his life trying to show me why I do deserve him.

And he just signed back on to Skype. So I'm going to go talk to him for the rest of the afternoon! Yay!