I admit I wanted to use something out of the Wizard of Oz for the blog title, but the only item listed that has relevance is weddings. My wedding, to be precise.
Zack and I FINALLY set a wedding date: October 18, 2014. A couple of people I know got married on this date and I did try to avoid it. However, two words should clear all this up for you EIU alums: Fall break! Our weekend is golden. Everyone leaves for this three-day weekend right after midterms. Holla.
The more I get into this planning process, the more intimidating it becomes. I will not lie, up until about 2 days ago, I didn't want the typical big wedding. A lot of people staring at me as I walk around in a very expensive but very awesome dress- didn't seem appealing. Then I booked the church, the reception hall and even got our minister... AND I WANT IT ALL! If there was a way to invite everyone I'd ever met, I totally would. However, the guest list needs to stay under 150 so my idea seems rather implausible. I've even succumbed to the one thing I never thought possible: chair covers. I want pretty blue chair covers with awesome chair sashes.
I don't, however, want to spend a large fortune on this thing. Don't get me wrong: it will the essence of Zack and Alison awesomeness, just affordable. I don't understand how people can spend $20,000+ on a wedding. The excuse "Oh, that's just normal," makes me want to puke. Coughing up a down payment on a house IS NOT NORMAL, especially for one day. I watched a wedding show where the budget for the wedding was $500,000!!!! And to make this even crazier, the couple said they had gone over that budget. Someone... anyone, please explain to me how that's even possible...
So here's a list of other mind-boggling things I've come across in my bridal journeys:
1. Calligraphers- I think calligraphy is gorgeous and I admit I have no talent. However, why do you need to hire an extra person to address your envelopes? Why can't you just take the time to do it yourself? They are ENVELOPES! Your guests are going to open the invitations and probably throw away the envelope. Think about it: when was the last time you saved an envelope? Probably never. And if you do have the money to afford a wedding extravaganza, why not just make your bridal party do it? Chances are the wedding party is big enough to do it without giving everyone carpal tunnel. Free labor, people. FREE. Those are my four favorite letters: F-R-E-E. (Look out bridesmaids, I have great plans for you).
2. Ugly bridesmaids dresses- The idea of having your bridesmaids look "uglier" than the bride is hogwash. Absolute hogwash.
Brides, please realize you will be looking at these pictures for the rest of your life. Sure, it's great that you look gorgeous but nobody will pay attention to you if your bridesmaids are in super ugly dresses. I'd be thinking about how bad I feel for those bridesmaids. I want pictures where everyone looks great, especially my bridesmaids. I want people to look at my pictures and go, "Hey, what a great looking wedding party."
My motto: If I have to look fabulous, then everyone else must too.
Remember that, people, it's going to be on the invitation. It's a requirement... Buy yourself a new dress, get your hair and/or nails done, then come party with me and my soon-to-be hubbie.
So ladies, get over yourselves and let your bridesmaids actually look beautiful. If they have the honor of standing along side you, then give them the honor of picking great dresses. This is even more important if they are paying for their dresses. It's almost cruel and unusual punishment... "Hey, I love you guys, now wear these ugly dresses and dance like a monkey...". And boy, I pray nightly I picked the right dresses. I love the dresses and the color. And as much as I told my bridesmaids to give me honest feedback, I don't know if they actually did. They might just be hiding the truth that they all hate it.
Oh and for the record, I've never hated a bridesmaids dress.
3. Bridezillas- For the most part, I've avoided this completely, which impresses my fiance and family. My sister told me her goal is to get some bridezilla out of me. Coming from my sister, this doesn't necessarily offend me because I tend to be easy-going about everything. If she wants to try, more power to her.
Although part of me wonders... She's my matron of honor, so wouldn't she want me to not be a bridezilla? True bridezillas make everyone miserable. Why would she want to be miserable for the next 10 months? I've been told true friends will suck it up but being a true friend means you don't make them.
Here's my thinking: Out of my 6th bridesmaids, three are married and I had the pleasure of being in all those wedding parties. Not one of them asked me to wear an ugly dress or do anything stupid. I offered my help in everything because I wanted too. Also, I knew someday soon, I would be asking them to stand with me. If I'm going to ask them to spend a bit of money on my wedding, the least I could do is be as helpful as possible.
I want to strangle true bridezillas. Stop making everyone miserable! The wedding is supposed to be a celebration not full of misery. Stop taking people for granted, stop being selfish and act like an adult! This is day is not just for you... it's for everyone. So sit down, drink some wine and shut up. The people around you have feelings. Important feelings. *grumble*
4. The garter/bouquet toss- This is going to step on a lot of toes (especially Zack's)... but I LOATHE this ritual. Who likes to be reminded at a wedding they're single? No one. So why torture them? I know I just talked about bridezillas but this might be one of my few bridezilla moves. I absolutely, 100% refuse to do this at my wedding. You literally have to drag people on to the floor to do this, it's terrible. I've never been to a wedding where women actually fought over a bouquet. I'm also acutely aware that most of the people attending my wedding will probably be married.
In fact, by my calculations, if 100% of my current guest list comes, only 8 ladies will get up for the bouquet toss (3 of them are bridesmaids). I'm not dragging people on the floor for something they don't want to do. It's painful.
There would be more guys for the garter toss. But that's so awkward, I'm not even going there.
I have an alternative, which would be super cute and super Zack and Alison. The tough part is selling it to everyone. Something about traditions... blah, blah, blah. I tune out after traditions because, honestly, I think this is one tradition I'm tossing (hahaha... I crack myself up).
Side note: I was going to add a chair covers blurb, but yea... I'm so totally getting those.
So these are the musings of a bride, who is apparently more traditional than originally planned, but that's ok.
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