My Epic Cover Letter

In the midst of job searching, I find myself called upon again and again to write cover letters. And I totally suck at it. I believe the problem chiefly arises from the fact that I don't like to talk myself up. Yea, I may be awesome but I will be the last person to tell you. If the job doesn't require submitting a cover letter, I don't normally submit one. I admit it's at my disadvantage to do so but I never know what to highlight in the letter. So here is the cover letter I'm so eager to write to someone, somewhere.



100 E. Hunting Square
Charmsville, IL 60001
August 24, 2011


Charlie Sheen
Human Resources Office
Illinois University
500 W. Perfect Job Ln.
Chicago, IL 60000

Dear Mr. Sheen,

I signed on to CareerBuilder yesterday and saw the job ad for Admissions Clerk. I was so excited reading about everything I'd get to do in this position. I'd be able to work with the awesome students, pursue my dream and get paid for it! This is my DREAM JOB!

Oh Mr. Sheen, if you only knew how much I wanted this job. I know I'd so freaking awesome at it! No will else will have my enthusiasm or my excitement to be apart of the MOST EXCITING TIME OF THEIR LIVES! Nothing is better than helping people find joy through learning! Or strive for that dream job or even help someone learn the joy for reading for the 1st time! I will be a freaking cheerleader for every student who I come in contact with because no one will believe in their ability more than me!!! You could even put me behind a computer crunching numbers all day... it doesn't matter to me because I believe no matter what I'm doing, I'm helping teenagers, adults or whoever achieve something. I WANT to be apart of the process of training the people who will change the world someday. Every fiber of my being just wants to help people no matter the age, race, color, sexual orientation or even immigration status. Everyone deserves the educational opportunity and achieving their dream.

I work harder than anyone else I know and I will I promise that I'll work even harder for you! I admit I don't know everything about college admissions but I'm a fast learner. Show me something once and I will never ask again. I may not be a perfectionist in my home life but when it comes to my work, I strive for 100% accuracy. Please Mr. Sheen, just give me once chance and I promise you'll never regret it. If you want 110 percent, I'll give 220 percent. I have included my resume that contains only a fraction of all the awesome experiences I can share. I spent 3 hours updating it so I hope you look at it for more than 30 seconds.

Please oh please call me soon. I will be sitting by my phone on pins and needles waiting to hear it ring. Thank you so much for just sparing the time to read this! I know you must be incredibly busy.

Sincerely,
Alison Burge

P.S. If you never call me back, I promise I understand. There are people who are better qualified but I promise none of them will have my enthusiasm!